{"version":"1.0","provider_name":"Inside out","provider_url":"https:\/\/peternoel.cafeblog.hu","author_name":"Peter Noel","author_url":"https:\/\/peternoel.cafeblog.hu\/author\/peternoelfreemail-hu\/","title":"Peter Noel: Happy Birthday, Mom! - Isten \u00e9ltessen, Anya! ","html":"(You can read the English version under the Hungarian text.)\r\n\r\nSzia, Anya!\r\n\r\nElj\u00f6tt ez a nap is. Ma lenn\u00e9l hatvan\u00f6t \u00e9ves, ha 2013 okt\u00f3ber\u00e9ben nem haltok meg mindketten ap\u00e1val. Ma azt mondhatn\u00e1m neked, l\u00e1tod, anya, siker\u00fclt. Mindazt, mit hitt\u00e9l r\u00f3lam, mindaz, mit l\u00e1tt\u00e1l bennem, v\u00e9gre sz\u00e1rat hajtott, s val\u00f3 lett. Mert id\u00e9n v\u00e9gre elk\u00e9sz\u00fclt els\u0151 mozifilm\u00fcnk, amit \u00edrtam \u00e9s rendeztem. \u00c1lmaim lassan \u00e1ts\u00e9t\u00e1lnak a k\u00e9pzelet h\u00eddj\u00e1n a val\u00f3s\u00e1gba. Sokat gondolok r\u00e1tok, de mi\u00f3ta ap\u00e1t is eltemett\u00fck, nem voltam n\u00e1latok. Mikor Budapest utc\u00e1it j\u00e1rom, \u00fagy \u00e9rzem, sosem jutok haza. Mi\u00f3ta elmentetek, valahogy nincs otthonom. Keresem a b\u00e9k\u00e9t, a megnyugv\u00e1s pillanatait, de nem tal\u00e1lom \u0151ket. A takar\u00f3 nem el\u00e9g meleg, az \u00e9tel nem el\u00e9g finom, a hangom nem el\u00e9g er\u0151s.\r\n\r\nTudod, anya, Te ind\u00edtottad el sz\u00edvem dobban\u00e1sait, s te \u00e1ll\u00edtottad be ritmus\u00e1t. Azt \u00e9reztem el\u0151sz\u00f6r, amit te. Az f\u00e1jt el\u0151sz\u00f6r, mi neked. De azt hiszem, \u00e9pp ez\u00e9rt tudok a mai napig \u00f6r\u00fclni a legkisebb dolgoknak is. Azt mondtad, mindig t\u00f6rekedjek a sz\u00e9pre \u00e9s j\u00f3ra, \u00e9s sose legyen ez m\u00e1sk\u00e9pp. Tudom, hogy b\u00fcszke volt\u00e1l r\u00e1m, de nem tudom, ki\u00e9rdemeltem-e, mert a f\u00e9rfi, ki visszan\u00e9z r\u00e1m a t\u00fck\u00f6rb\u0151l a mai napig sok hib\u00e1t k\u00f6vet el. Odakint az emberek rohannak az \u00e9let\u00fck ut\u00e1n. Harapom a m\u00e9tereket azok k\u00f6zt, kik nem ismerik von\u00e1saimat. Kik nem tudj\u00e1k, mir\u0151l \u00e1lmodom, s mit hordok a sz\u00edvemben. A t\u00f6megben \u00e1llva n\u00e9ha azon t\u00f6prengek, vajon lesz-e olyan, ki \u00fagy fog ismerni engem, mint ti? Ki legapr\u00f3bb von\u00e1somb\u00f3l l\u00e1tni fogja, mit gondolok. Ki szavak n\u00e9lk\u00fcl is tud majd besz\u00e9lgetni velem. Ki szeretni fog hib\u00e1immal, s minden makacss\u00e1gommal egy\u00fctt. S \u00e9n ismerni fogom-e \u0151t ennyire?\r\n\r\nH\u00e1t, anya, nem lesz m\u00e1r t\u00f6bb sz\u00fclet\u00e9snap, sem any\u00e1k napja, \u00e9s a mosolyodat sem l\u00e1tom t\u00f6bbet, m\u00e9gsem b\u00edrom ki, hogy ne \u00edrjam ezt le Neked. Isten \u00e9ltessen, Anya! K\u00f6sz\u00f6n\u00f6m, hogy be\u00e1ll\u00edtottad sz\u00edvem ritmus\u00e1t! K\u00f6sz\u00f6n\u00f6m, hogy pr\u00f3b\u00e1ltatok j\u00f3 emberr\u00e9 nevelni! S k\u00f6sz\u00f6n\u00f6m, hogy akkor is szerettetek, amikor h\u00fclye d\u00f6nt\u00e9seket hoztam! Rem\u00e9lem, m\u00e9lt\u00f3 leszek arra, hogy sz\u00edvetek minden szeretet\u00e9vel szerettetek. Rem\u00e9lem, egyszer t\u00e9nyleg ki\u00e9rdemlem.\r\n\r\nCsak egyetlen dolgot k\u00e9rek t\u0151letek: N\u00e9ha l\u00e1togass\u00e1tok meg a sz\u00edvem \u00e1lmomban, \u00e9s s\u00fagj\u00e1tok azt, hogy a vil\u00e1g sz\u00e9p, s hogy Ti j\u00f3l vagytok. Egyszer majd \u00e9n is elmegyek arra a hegyre, mely messze az \u00e9gen t\u00fcnd\u00f6k\u00f6l. Egyszer majd elindulok, \u00e1t a gy\u00f6ny\u00f6r\u0171 felh\u0151k\u00f6n, hogy \u00fajra l\u00e1ssalak titeket. Rem\u00e9lem, tal\u00e1lkozunk majd. Hi\u00e1nyoztok, \u00e9s ez sosem lesz m\u00e1sk\u00e9nt. Isten \u00e9ltessen, Anya! Rem\u00e9lem... rem\u00e9lem, valamit meg\u0151riztem j\u00f3 sz\u00edvetekb\u0151l.\r\n\r\nHa volna dallam, mely lelkedet le\u00edrn\u00e1, ma azt d\u00fadoln\u00e1m, s elh\u00edvn\u00e1m a szelet, hogy \u00f6leljen meg T\u00e9ged. Ha volna festm\u00e9ny, mely von\u00e1saidat visszaadn\u00e1 teljesen, ma eg\u00e9sz nap azt n\u00e9zn\u00e9m, s k\u00e9rn\u00e9m a Napot, hogy minden \u00f3r\u00e1ban s\u00fcss\u00f6n R\u00e1d. Ha volna sz\u00f3, mely visszahozna egyetlen pillanatra, ma v\u00e9gig azt suttogn\u00e1m halkan, \u00e9s este k\u00e9rn\u00e9m az eget, takarjon be T\u00e9ged szel\u00edden csillagaival.\r\n\r\nMakacs fiatok\r\n\r\nKeserves tanuls\u00e1g h\u00e1t, mire az \u00e9let megtan\u00edtott id\u00e9n. A pillanatok elillannak, elvesznek az id\u0151ben, mint finom s\u00f3haj a k\u00f6dben. Nincs id\u0151 k\u00e9s\u0151bb \u00f6lelni, nincs id\u0151 k\u00e9s\u0151bb szeretni, nincs id\u0151 k\u00e9s\u0151bb kimondani... A mostot kell meg\u00e9lni\u2026 mindig.\r\nM\u00e1ra ezt k\u00edv\u00e1nom mindenkinek: \u00c9lj\u00e9tek meg minden nap az \u00e9letet! Menjetek, \u00f6leljetek, szeressetek, \u00e9ljetek! Ne holnap, MOST! -\u00a0<\/span>Peter Noel Privat<\/a>,\u00a0<\/span>P\u00e9ter Noel<\/a> Szerz\u0151i \u00e9s minden jog fenntartva. Megoszthat\u00f3 v\u00e1ltoztat\u00e1s n\u00e9lk\u00fcl, mindennem\u0171 egy\u00e9b felhaszn\u00e1l\u00e1sa enged\u00e9lyk\u00f6teles.\u00a0https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/PeterNoel20<\/a>\r\n

\u00a0\"10711454_10203933168185821_1436640745_n\"<\/a><\/p>\r\nDear, Mom,\r\n\r\nThis day has come. Today you would be 65 years old, if you had not died with Dad in October, 2013. Today, I could tell you, that I succeeded. Everything, that you thought of me, everything, that you believed, has come true. Finally, my first movie is completed. My dreams are slowly coming true. I think of you both a lot, but since we had Dad\u2019s funeral, I didn\u2019t visit your place. When I\u2019m walking down the streets of Budapest, I feel like I would never find my way back home. I have no home, since you\u2019ve been gone. I am looking for peace, for the moments of sedation, but I can not find them. My blanket is not warm enough, my food is not tasty enough and my voice is not loud enough.\r\n\r\nYou know Mom, you made my heart go beat, and you were the one, who had set its rhytm up. My first sense was yours. My first pain was yours. I guess, that\u2019s why I can be joyful for every single moment. You told me, that I must always be willing to do right things, and I should never make up my mind. I know that you always were proud of me, but I really don\u2019t know, if it was rightful, because the man, that looks back from the mirror used to fail sometimes. People are rushing for their lives outside. They are the ones, who don\u2019t know, for what do I yearn for, and what am I carrying in my heart. I am asking myself, while standing int he crowd, that will ever be someone, who will know me just like you both did? Who will always know, what do I think. Who will be able to talk to me without words. Who will love me with all my faults and stubbornness. And will I know her that deep?\r\n\r\nWell Mom, there won\u2019t be more birthdays, or Mother\u2019s Day, and I will never see your smile again, but I just have to write it down. Happy Birthday Mom, and God may bless you! Thank you very much for setting up the rhytm of my heart! Thank you for raising me a good person! And finally, thank you for loving me all the time, even if when I failed sometimes! I hope, loving me with all of your love was always rightful.\r\n\r\nI just want to ask one thing: Visit my heart sometimes in my sleep, and whisper to me, that the world is wonderful and you both are all right. Once I will also get to that mountain, which\u2019s top is int he sky. Once I will start a journey through the wonderful clouds, to see you both again. I hope, we will meet then. I miss you both, and I always will. Happy Birthday, Mom! I hope... I hope, that I have something left from yours heart of gold.\r\n\r\nYours stubborn son\r\n\r\nSo it was the sorrowful moral of the fable, what I've been taught by life this year... Moments are slipping by and get lost in time, like a soft moaning in the fog. There's no time to kiss later, there's no time to love later, there's no time to tell later. We have to live in this very moment... Always. This is my wish for you all today: To be able to live in the moment every single day! Go, hug, love, live! Not tomorrow, NOW! - Peter Noel<\/a>\u00a0Copyright and all rights reserved. Shareable without modification, any other use requires authorization.\r\n\r\nhttps:\/\/www.facebook.com\/PeterNoel20<\/a>","type":"rich"}